Monday, June 27, 2011
One Big Happy Family!
We are home with our amazing baby boy. The time in the hospital was challenging a blessing in many ways. We got to spend time with birth mother during her time at the hospital, this was a great bonding time for all of us. Thank you everyone for all of your support, we are so glad that this step of our journey is over and that Ari Michael Durgan is home.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
3 cm....waiting for the call
We are getting close. Cathy went to the doctor yesterday and is 3 cm dilated and the baby is very low. She was told she could go home, walk around and do anything she can to get things moving. Since it is about 105 with heat index down here she is pretty miserable and ready to get this show on the road, and so are we. Jeremy and I are anxiously waiting by the phone for the call letting us know to head to the hospital. It is about a 2 hour and 15 minute drive from here so we will be sure to get on the road ASAP. Even though we won't be in the room for the birth we will be in the hall waiting to be invited in to see him. Tonight is a full moon and we are hoping that it is almost time.
We need everyone's support and prayers that Ari will be home with us soon. Thank you!
We need everyone's support and prayers that Ari will be home with us soon. Thank you!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Kicking!!!!!
I went with Cathy to her appointment last week and it was AMAZING. I got to feel Ari kick, he was so active when I put my hand on her belly to feel him. I am so happy that I got experience that, I think that kicking is something that every mom wants to feel, and I got to! His heart beat sounded strong and steady and the doctor said that both Cathy and Ari are doing great. The induction is set for June 26th! 36 days away, I cannot believe it, he is going to be here before so soon!
We got an email yesterday from our social worker saying that she had a meeting with Cathy and that they discussed the birth plan. The plan has remained the same in that her best friend will be in the room during the delivery to support her. Cathy now wants Jeremy and I to join her in her room after the birth to care for the baby. She doesn't want to feed him or care for him because she doesn't want to get attached. I am glad that she recognizes that but just the talk of an attachment forming is very scary. Jeremy and I being in the same room with the birth mom, best friend, social workers, doctors, and of course the baby is very emotional and scary. We are going to be first time parents and we are expected to care for him while everyone is watching. We are going to be excited and nervous and Cathy is going to be sad and nervous and that is a lot of different emotions in one small room. I want to make sure that we are always aware of her feelings and don't hurt her but our emotions are going to be so strong, and honestly I am just scared that us all staying in the room she might change her mind. The hospital has now said that we can have a room for ourselves after the birth if Cathy says that she is okay with us being there. She has not said yet if she is going to be okay with this but we will know soon hopefully. I have emailed the SW back to make sure that the plan is still for the baby to stay in the nursery if we are not there and not in Cathy's room. As the day gets closer our fear builds that things can still change and he can be ripped away. I have faith in Cathy and the decision she is making and how she feels about it right now.....but the bond and emotion is strong, I hope she still has a sense of peace on the birth day. The first 48 hours are going to be very emotional and stressful, we need everyone around us to pray and send positive energy to Cathy, Jeremy and I, and Ari.
Today was my baby shower and it was great day. Surrounded by friends that support us and are excited for Ari to be part of our lives. It was a great celebration of baby Ari and how close he is to being home. Thank you to everyone that has continued to support us through this journey. We are getting close to the end but we still need prayers and positive energy because he isn't home yet. Thank you again!
We got an email yesterday from our social worker saying that she had a meeting with Cathy and that they discussed the birth plan. The plan has remained the same in that her best friend will be in the room during the delivery to support her. Cathy now wants Jeremy and I to join her in her room after the birth to care for the baby. She doesn't want to feed him or care for him because she doesn't want to get attached. I am glad that she recognizes that but just the talk of an attachment forming is very scary. Jeremy and I being in the same room with the birth mom, best friend, social workers, doctors, and of course the baby is very emotional and scary. We are going to be first time parents and we are expected to care for him while everyone is watching. We are going to be excited and nervous and Cathy is going to be sad and nervous and that is a lot of different emotions in one small room. I want to make sure that we are always aware of her feelings and don't hurt her but our emotions are going to be so strong, and honestly I am just scared that us all staying in the room she might change her mind. The hospital has now said that we can have a room for ourselves after the birth if Cathy says that she is okay with us being there. She has not said yet if she is going to be okay with this but we will know soon hopefully. I have emailed the SW back to make sure that the plan is still for the baby to stay in the nursery if we are not there and not in Cathy's room. As the day gets closer our fear builds that things can still change and he can be ripped away. I have faith in Cathy and the decision she is making and how she feels about it right now.....but the bond and emotion is strong, I hope she still has a sense of peace on the birth day. The first 48 hours are going to be very emotional and stressful, we need everyone around us to pray and send positive energy to Cathy, Jeremy and I, and Ari.
Today was my baby shower and it was great day. Surrounded by friends that support us and are excited for Ari to be part of our lives. It was a great celebration of baby Ari and how close he is to being home. Thank you to everyone that has continued to support us through this journey. We are getting close to the end but we still need prayers and positive energy because he isn't home yet. Thank you again!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Appointment
Today Cathy had another appointment and is 29 weeks. She is doing great and so is Ari. Her social worker went with her to this appointment and said that she got to meet the doctor and that he is very supportive of her adoption plan. This is a great feeling, we want her to have as much support as possible and not feel judged by anyone. Cathy also told the social worker that she wants me to go to her next appointment on May 10th. I can't believe that I get to be part of her appointment and experience that with her. I should defenitley be able to hear his heart beat, maybe even feel him move. I would love that more than anything. I do not think that there is an ultrasound scheduled for that day but I have asked the social worker if she knows. Either way it is just going to be great to be there with her and meet the doctor that is going to deliver our son. Feeling so far away of the pregnancy as been difficult so this will give me a great opportunity to be more connected to Ari and Cathy. I can't wait to go!
Other than this new development we are just focusing on getting ready for Ari's arrival. I am preparing to be out on maternity leave at work, getting the house ready, and of course enjoying time just Jeremy and I. I will update everyone on the appointment after May 10th!
Other than this new development we are just focusing on getting ready for Ari's arrival. I am preparing to be out on maternity leave at work, getting the house ready, and of course enjoying time just Jeremy and I. I will update everyone on the appointment after May 10th!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Journey Continues
Things are going great here. Cathy (birth mother) went to the doctor this week and is doing well. She is 27 weeks and has put on a total of 21 pounds since the start of the pregnancy, I am glad that she is putting on weight, she is skinny, only 138 now. The baby is measuring right on track and developing well per the report from the social worker. They are talking about inducing around 39 weeks, I guess that is common with adoptions, especially when the adoptive family lives out of town and has to stay in a hotel, of course he could have other plans than that and come earlier. We completely under estimated the emotions that would come with this part of the process. I never expected to feel so connected to Cathy and the baby this quickly, I feel such strong emotions towards her. I am having trouble with not being part of the pregnancy, more than I thought I would, I hate that I can’t be at the appointments and ask questions and feel him move. I love him so much already but feel so far away from him. This is a whole different experience than what we had expected. I am not really sure what we expected but it is different. The scary thing is I now see how much those emotions and love are going to grow once we see and hold him. I can’t wait until we are home in the house together and he is OURS.
There is some logistical stuff going on the birth father right now that the social worker is working on but we are just trying to stay focused on the positive. The social worker thinks that they have found his current address and will be trying to contact him very soon. Hopefully that is successful. If not then he will be served with papers outlining the Adoption Plan. He is aware of the adoption per conversations but has not actually met with the social worker. They are not classifying this as a high risk placement since he is aware of the pregnancy and pending adoption and hasn’t come forward saying that he wants to parent, however, we will feel much better when it is all on paper.
This has been very positive and we are so excited about everything. We almost have his room ready, we are waiting on our friend that is an electrician to come install the ceiling fan before we completely decorate the room. We still have to get the décor, it is hard to find stuff for a nursery that is not online. We are planning a weekend trip to Dothan (about an hour away) to go to Babies R Us the last weekend in May. My friends and women I work with are having a shower for me on May 21st, I can’t wait. It is going to be so nice to have some time with people that support us and celebrate Ari.
Thank you everyone for continuing to follow our journey
There is some logistical stuff going on the birth father right now that the social worker is working on but we are just trying to stay focused on the positive. The social worker thinks that they have found his current address and will be trying to contact him very soon. Hopefully that is successful. If not then he will be served with papers outlining the Adoption Plan. He is aware of the adoption per conversations but has not actually met with the social worker. They are not classifying this as a high risk placement since he is aware of the pregnancy and pending adoption and hasn’t come forward saying that he wants to parent, however, we will feel much better when it is all on paper.
This has been very positive and we are so excited about everything. We almost have his room ready, we are waiting on our friend that is an electrician to come install the ceiling fan before we completely decorate the room. We still have to get the décor, it is hard to find stuff for a nursery that is not online. We are planning a weekend trip to Dothan (about an hour away) to go to Babies R Us the last weekend in May. My friends and women I work with are having a shower for me on May 21st, I can’t wait. It is going to be so nice to have some time with people that support us and celebrate Ari.
Thank you everyone for continuing to follow our journey
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday...meeting the birth mother
Friday was an amazing day, there were a lot of emotions and a couple things that were not perfect but Cathy is and we had a great time. I want to walk through the day and share with you how it all went.
First we went to meet the social worker that we will be working with in Pensacola and that will be there during the birth. She was okay, difficult transitioning to a different social worker after we have been worked with ours with almost a year. Pat (our SW) will still be present after the birth but until that point we will be working with this woman. We found out a little bit of information about the birth father that is a little stressful, his number is disconnected so there will need to be a little bit of research to locate him to assure he signs all the documentation that is needed. The agency does have his full name and date of birth so that should make it a little easier. We also learned that the hospital she is delivering at is small and does not have extra beds so Ari will have to stay in the nursery for the 48 hours and we will be able to see him but will have to stay in a hotel for two nights. Of course this is not the ideal situation, we have always hoped that we would be able to have a room at the hospital so we can take care of him while he is there and have the assistance of the nurses. We will be there with him in the nursery as much as they will allow us to though. Cathy doesn't want him in her room which is a good thing, she intends for us to be on the unit when she delivers and then send him to the nursery, so hopefully we will be able to hold him with in a few hours of his birth. Her best friend is going to be there with her so she as a good support system in place, this makes Jeremy and I very happy. After getting most of questions answered we followed the social worker to the restaurant and Jeremy and i went and waited for her to return with Cathy.
Cathy arrived after about 20 minutes of extremely anxious waiting. She brought her 18 month old daughter with her, who is adorable, and we had lunch. During lunch we talked and asked some questions, just got to know each other a little better. Everything flowed very naturally with no force. She gave us ultrasound pictures of Ari, they are amazing. You can clearly see his nose and lips and that he is a boy. Cathy had a prenatal appointment on Tuesday and everything is going great, she put us down on all of the information for the hospital so that we will be able to get on the unit with no problems. She is a strong outgoing woman that really believes in her decision to place this child for adoption, we are truly so blessed. When we were leaving she let me feel her belly, he wasn't moving but it was amazing.
Now we wait, the social worker will keep us updated on any information about the birth father and all of Cathy's appointments. We are focusing on getting ready for his arrival. We need to find a hotel in Pensacola/Milton area and familiarize ourselves a little with what is around. We have to finish decorating the nursery and then we will be ready for him to be here. We can't wait to have him in our arms. We couldn't have picked a better situation, I think this is a match that was meant to be made, he will be here soon. Thank you everyone for your continued support.
First we went to meet the social worker that we will be working with in Pensacola and that will be there during the birth. She was okay, difficult transitioning to a different social worker after we have been worked with ours with almost a year. Pat (our SW) will still be present after the birth but until that point we will be working with this woman. We found out a little bit of information about the birth father that is a little stressful, his number is disconnected so there will need to be a little bit of research to locate him to assure he signs all the documentation that is needed. The agency does have his full name and date of birth so that should make it a little easier. We also learned that the hospital she is delivering at is small and does not have extra beds so Ari will have to stay in the nursery for the 48 hours and we will be able to see him but will have to stay in a hotel for two nights. Of course this is not the ideal situation, we have always hoped that we would be able to have a room at the hospital so we can take care of him while he is there and have the assistance of the nurses. We will be there with him in the nursery as much as they will allow us to though. Cathy doesn't want him in her room which is a good thing, she intends for us to be on the unit when she delivers and then send him to the nursery, so hopefully we will be able to hold him with in a few hours of his birth. Her best friend is going to be there with her so she as a good support system in place, this makes Jeremy and I very happy. After getting most of questions answered we followed the social worker to the restaurant and Jeremy and i went and waited for her to return with Cathy.
Cathy arrived after about 20 minutes of extremely anxious waiting. She brought her 18 month old daughter with her, who is adorable, and we had lunch. During lunch we talked and asked some questions, just got to know each other a little better. Everything flowed very naturally with no force. She gave us ultrasound pictures of Ari, they are amazing. You can clearly see his nose and lips and that he is a boy. Cathy had a prenatal appointment on Tuesday and everything is going great, she put us down on all of the information for the hospital so that we will be able to get on the unit with no problems. She is a strong outgoing woman that really believes in her decision to place this child for adoption, we are truly so blessed. When we were leaving she let me feel her belly, he wasn't moving but it was amazing.
Now we wait, the social worker will keep us updated on any information about the birth father and all of Cathy's appointments. We are focusing on getting ready for his arrival. We need to find a hotel in Pensacola/Milton area and familiarize ourselves a little with what is around. We have to finish decorating the nursery and then we will be ready for him to be here. We can't wait to have him in our arms. We couldn't have picked a better situation, I think this is a match that was meant to be made, he will be here soon. Thank you everyone for your continued support.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The post we have all been waiting for!
This is the post that I have been wanting to write since I started this blog. We have been picked by a birth mother and she will be having our son on or around July 3, 2011. We got a call earlier this week that we had been selected, we met with our social worker and reviewed all of the information, she said that it couldn't be a more perfect situation. I completely agree, Cathy (our birth mother) is a strong and healthy 25 year old woman confident with her decision to place this child for adoption. Cathy and the baby are both healthy and the pregnancy is going smooth and has been uneventful. She lives about 2.5 hours from us which is great so we will not run into her around town, the birth father is also on board with adoption which is amazing that we don't have to try to find a father and have him sign paperwork. Cathy also only wants pictures and letters at certain times but no yearly visits which is what we have hoped for all along.
Feelings......Jeremy and I are completely overwhelmed with joy and excitement the last few days have been amazing. I knew that we would be excited when this happened but I never knew how truly happy I would be. I thought I should be reserved and cautious just in case something happens. Hell with that, we are embracing this and our child 110%. Jeremy couldn't be happier that it is a boy and that we have finally been selected. We have 3.5 months to prepare to be parents, we are trying to think of all the questions we have for Cathy and our social worker and all of the things we need to get so we are a little more ready to bring a baby home.
The next steps......next Friday, March 18th we will be going to meet Cathy. I can't wait to meet her, we will also get ultrasounds pictures! I cannot wait to see him. We will discuss the birth plan and just get to know each other a little bit over lunch. We are a little nervous about this but really can't wait to meet her. After that I don't really know, I guess we wait and prepare and make sure we are ready.
Thank you everyone for all of your support during this journey, please continue to send your positive energy and thoughts for a healthy baby boy.
Feelings......Jeremy and I are completely overwhelmed with joy and excitement the last few days have been amazing. I knew that we would be excited when this happened but I never knew how truly happy I would be. I thought I should be reserved and cautious just in case something happens. Hell with that, we are embracing this and our child 110%. Jeremy couldn't be happier that it is a boy and that we have finally been selected. We have 3.5 months to prepare to be parents, we are trying to think of all the questions we have for Cathy and our social worker and all of the things we need to get so we are a little more ready to bring a baby home.
The next steps......next Friday, March 18th we will be going to meet Cathy. I can't wait to meet her, we will also get ultrasounds pictures! I cannot wait to see him. We will discuss the birth plan and just get to know each other a little bit over lunch. We are a little nervous about this but really can't wait to meet her. After that I don't really know, I guess we wait and prepare and make sure we are ready.
Thank you everyone for all of your support during this journey, please continue to send your positive energy and thoughts for a healthy baby boy.
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